About me

Elizabeth Paterson is a married, mother of three children. She loves all things creative and is currently writing Children's Stories, hopefully for future publication. She is also interested in Young Adult fiction and is studying Creative Writing through an online educator.

Tuesday 6 September 2016

Always and Forever

My kids wanted to go play outside. Fantastic! Every parent wants that, right? It's a beautiful day outside. Not too hot, not too cold. The sun is shining and they can burn off some energy on the trampoline before nap time.
Mr 3 wanted to play with his water gun. No harm done there, really. True, it wasn't always a good idea. He'd learnt the hard way with a previous water gun to never spray the house…or his sister…or the dog. That water gun ended up in the bin. He was only allowed to squirt water at the garden or the grass; a little watering would be good for the plants. So I let him take his water gun out again today, to play with in the yard. They had their gum boots on. All was good.
They were playing well for quite some time. I checked on them every little while and yes, all was good. Until I suddenly heard Miss 1 crying.
I walked out onto the back balcony and couldn't see them, not at first, then I noticed the white shirt UNDER the trampoline.
"What are you doing under the trampoline?"
"Just playing, Mum," Mr 3 calls back.
"But why is Miss 1 crying?" I said, as I went further into the back yard to see for myself what mischief was ensuing.
"Um, because she's dirty."
I'd reached the trampoline now so no further explanation was needed. I saw the water gun on the ground next to Mr 3. I saw him MIXING up the ground with a stick. I saw their gumboots, not on their feet but on the ground. And as Miss 1 turned her head towards me with tears streaming down her face, I saw the "dirty". Her face was covered in mud and so were her feet (and I then noticed that Mr 3's feet were actually hiding DOWN IN the mud hole). Her clothes were covered in splotches of mud, especially her backside were she'd been sitting in the mud. But as the giant patch of mud covering one eye looked at me with tears mixing into the dirt on her cheeks I was filled with a mixture of emotions.
One, "oh, crap this is going to be a pain in the bum to clean up": and, two, "look at my beautiful, ridiculous children, doing what I believe kids should be really doing - playing outside, exploring their world in every way, getting a little bit dirty and loving real life (not artificial, computerised, televised life)."
So I cleaned them up. Chucked them both in the shower (Miss 1 still with her clothes on because she hates showers and was kicking and screaming), pulled a muscle in my back quite badly in the wrestling that was needed to scrub Miss 1 down and keep her from climbing out of the shower, and got myself quite drenched in the process. New, dry, clean clothes all round. Except for Mr 0 who was sleeping quite peacefully through all of this.
Take a deep breath; everyone is now in bed for nap time, including me.
Later in the afternoon Mr 3 says, "Mummy, I want to play outside".
"No, you got covered in mud this morning when you went out there this morning."
"But I promise I won't play with the water. Please Mummy!"
Well, that's new. I didn't think my 3 year old knew what a promise was. Maybe he learnt it at preschool.
"Alright then, gumboots on and stay away from the mud."
I'm sure you know how this play outside ended. Promise broken, two kids muddy again (although not as badly as before), another shower and more clean clothes on.
There wasn't a mixture of feelings this time. I was mad. Cross, angry, miffed. Whatever you want to call it. And I was disappointed.

Surely, you shouldn't feel disappointed that a three year old didn't keep a promise. But I want them to learn that a yes, should always be a yes, and a no, should always be a no - period. My child specifically told me that he wouldn't do something, and he ignored me.
Do you try to make them understand the importance of telling the truth? Probably a losing battle seeing as they are three and, not quite, two years old.
Do you let it go with nothing because you think they won't understand the lesson? Just let it roll off your back? Throw the next load of muddy clothes into the machine and wash the day away.
But when I called my husband I said "I'm obviously too trusting…" and I said it as though it was a bad thing.
But it's actually a very good thing, because it's a very God-like thing.
In the back of my mind I had predicted this outcome. And it's not the first time I have chosen to let my kids try to do something, whilst knowing deep down that it would probably fail.
Why do I keep setting myself up for failure?

Because I want to be forever giving my children opportunities to succeed.

Because I want to set them up to do well.

I offer them my trust time and time again, because I will forever believe the best in them.


I believe that they can be good, can be better, can be excellent. Perhaps you're all thinking, "don't worry about it, we've all been there. It's just what kids are like at that age." And don't get me wrong. It is always comforting to know in this hard gig called parenting, that you are not alone and others are walking a similar journey.
But what if I let past experience rob me and my children of experiencing greatness that goes beyond statistical expectations of a child's behaviour? My children would be robbed of opportunities to succeed, they would be robbed of confidence, and they would be robbed of feeling like their mother thinks the world of them.

How does this relate to God?
Well, how often has God trusted us with things, only to see us walk away from it, or misuse it?
How often has He given us extra chances, ignoring past failures, and believed that we could do what He has asked us to do?
He does not need to predict what we will do, He knows it! He knows exactly, every word, thought and action before they are even performed. And still, he offers us an opportunity to succeed. Over and over again.
He trusts us with the little things in the hopes that we will steward them well enough for Him to trust us with the bigger things. He believes the best in us. He thinks the world of us, ALWAYS and FOREVER.
Why? I mean, how could he know every bad word, bad thought, bad action, before I've made them, and still offer me an opportunity to succeed?

Because He sees me through a very pure film. A filtered lens, called Jesus. He is the Instagram of our pictures being uploaded for God to view. Those Gingham and Crema filters that smooth out the rough and ugly, and make everything look more beautiful and picturesque than it was when you took the shot. It's a parental bias that our Daddy-God has for those children who have come into His family through their acceptance of Jesus.

I think most parents have an understanding of constant forgiveness for your children, and unconditional love. But extending renewable trust on a daily basis can be hard. We can forgive people for what they have done, but so often we will never trust them again for fear that they will hurt us again. And for some that is a very serious reality. There are some things that should not be allowed to be put back in your life if they will happen again and again. But for establishing good characteristics and values in our children, these chances are invaluable and should be as innumerable as possible.


So for my children, I will not spend today holding them to what they did yesterday. And tomorrow I will let go of what they did today. They will be the wonderful people I believe God is shaping them to be. They will succeed. And I will set them up to do well all the days of their lives. Because I DO think the world of them, ALWAYS and FOREVER.

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